Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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