You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
