Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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