u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
