Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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