If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found puke in my bra..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
