it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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