I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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