Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
