I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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