Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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