This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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