I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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