if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
