so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is classic penis vs brain.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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