I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
