why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
