you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
