My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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