I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My balls are so social today.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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