my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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