i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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