Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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