i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
