Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
