Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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