haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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