I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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