i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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