Don't you send me to vm
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
