I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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