Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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