before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
