i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
