Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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