Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
