I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
