what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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