A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
