Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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