sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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