...so i touched it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
