They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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