Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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