Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
