just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
