Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
