ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
