Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
