if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
